Friday, October 26, 2007

Easiest Decision of the Week

We're in the process of hiring an editor for our weekly, which would reduce my workload down to editing TWO papers, though I'd still supervise that one. Here is a cover letter we received yesterday. Bear in mind that one of the necessary skills listed in the job application included computer literacy. Aside from sending out a form letter instead of actually saying why he'd like this particular job, I don't think he realized there was something attached at the bottom.

With the obvious redaction of personal information, his letter follows in its entirety:

F O R
I M M E D I A T E
A T T E N T I O N

M*** M. S***
(street address)
Portland, ME 04101
(phone number)

Dear Sir or Madam:

I am writing for the opportunity of a position with your Company. I have enclosed for your consideration a personal Resume detailing my education and professional experience. I have considerable experience in film and television production, media relations, and as a writer, editor and performer for a rather varied professional, business and creative clientele.

My work has been wide-ranging, and has accustomed me to a diversity of people, places and perspectives. I have a keen ear, a sharp eye, very sound aesthetic judgment and polished communications skills. I am looking for a position which will afford me the opportunity to wed professional obligation with creative instinct.

Thank you for taking the time to review the enclosed material. I would enjoy very much the opportunity to meet with you, introduce myself and answer any additional questions you may have. I believe I can make a significant contribution to your Company, your clients and your nterests.

Cordially,
M*** M. S***

Enclosure

=================================

How about: "We just want a first-rate Writer/Editor and we'll take a little time to teach you the "embroidery?"

This attitude wouldn't, per chance, have anything to do with this State hemorrhaging TALENT -- now would it?

God, you people are THICK -- not to mention provincial ...

Drop dead!

MMS

6 comments:

Vt Teacher said...

I can't think of any better way to describe his communication skills but "polished." It would be a no-brainer to hire him, too bad there's no way to hold on to that sort of talent.....

ronnie said...

I assume you got this in the form of an email - I would not be able to resist the temptation to hit "reply", leaving his letter intact at the bottom of the email, and sending him the following:

"Dear Mr. S***,

We carefully reviewed your letter of application to the end. We suggest you do the same.

Sincerely..."

Sherwood Harrington said...

Mike, if you haven't already done so, I urge you to do what ronnie suggests.

And you could add,

"Hey, we've got your embroidery teaching right here, pal:

I got a freaky ol' lady name o' cocaine Katie
Who embroideries on my jeans
I got my poor ole grey haired daddy
Drivin my limosine...

... and that's what it takes to be on the cover of our paper."

Or maybe not.

Mike said...

I certainly thought about a response, but here's how I see it: These days, most companies are scared to death to give any kind of negative feedback when you call to get a recommendation. It's hard to find out the kind of information about a candidate that this letter unintentionally reveals.

Why should I wise the guy up? I'm kind of glad nobody has yet -- saved me a lot of time and trouble, and thank god I didn't hire him and find out the REALLY hard way.

David G. said...

After a pretty extensive interview process last week, I hired a reporter who appeared to be creative, fearless, and enthusiastic - the three "perfect" traits in a rookie reporter.

She showed up Thursday morning for her first day and did a fine job making the rounds at the area schools to introduce herself as the new education reporter. She wrote a couple of great stories and left at the end of the day with a smile on her face.

Friday morning, she called and said she wouldn't be coming back. No further explanation.

That's a first. Ain't hiring fun?

Dann said...

We once had a newly hired receptionist that didn't come back from lunch.....on the first day.